The past month and half has been pretty busy for us. Ansley & I traveled to Sylvania to visit my family during Spring Break. During that time, Ansley perfected her crawling ability and started pulling up on furniture and maintaining her balance better. While we were in Sylvania, James was in Ohio studying and testing to earn a Microsoft certification. Upon returning home to the daily grind, we learned that James's grandmother was doing better and would soon be released to a rehabilation center to continue recovering from her hospital stay due to throat cancer. She has now been in the rehab center for a couple of weeks and is doing quite well. Her cancer has shrunk despite her inability to safely receive chemo or radiation therapy. God has been truly amazing through all of this.
Ansley's spring school pictures are tomorrow (2 days after her 11 "monthiversary"). I think they will turn out well.
We have a busy month ahead of us. Friday night is the Hutchings Career Center prom. Saturday is Adyn's belated birthday party (he turned 4 March 11th). Sunday is the Logos Spring Picnic. Friday, May 1st is Relay for Life. I will be walking in memory of my dad and grandfather and in honor of James's grandmother. May 3rd is the Mills Family Reunion. This will be our first reunion without my dad and the first reunion with Ansley. May 10th is Mother's Day (my first).
May 16th is Ansley's birthday party. She turns one on May 20th. The closer I get to that day, the more I am remembering about labor and the emotions during the birth process (excitement, joy, and nervousness in the early stages to be overcome by fear, anger, frustration, & extreme sadness and anxiety in the final stage -emergency c-section). I am also starting to remember the emotions/sensations post-birth: sadness, exhaustion, coldness, as if I had been mentally, spiritually, emotionally, not to mention physically, ripped apart and broken. I remember experiencing great pain, stress, and fear during her surgical birth and being unable to open my eyes and see her immediately after she was removed from my womb before she was carried to another room to be cleaned up. I do remember her healthy cries and feeling some relief that she sounded mad, but okay. I remember waking up in recovery, alone, with a parched & bitter tasting mouth. I rember the careless & rude nurse running my hospital bed into the wall/door twice as I was wheeled from recovery to my postpartum room (oh, the pain & fury that I felt). I remember waiting for Ansley to be wheeled to our room and her being placed in my arms for the first time. (I did not experience the joy/adrenaline rush that I was told I would experience upon holding Ansley for the first time. I remember thinking, "Let's get this baby fed so James's parents can come in and hold her so they can leave and I can feed her again before falling asleep for a couple of hours before her next feeding. More memories of those first days are returning, but I need to go to bed before Wednesday arrives.