Awesomely Amazing Ansley

This post is just so I won't forget some of the phrases that Ansley has said.

This morning, for the first time without being prompted, she said, "I love you, Mommy." as she walked out the door with her Daddy to go to day care. I never knew how much I would "melt" inside whenever my daughter gives spontaneous hugs, kisses, and now, "I love you's."

I love how she says, "C'mon, Mommy." when she wants me to follow her or says "Help you." when she wants me to help her. When she wants to be picked up, she says, "Carry you, Mommy" because she doesn't understand to swap the "you" with "me," yet.

She's always excited to go to daycare, which she has started calling school, because she gets to learn new things, play on the Tumblebus, dance, and play with her friends. She is a sponge who will absorb as much new knowledge as possible every day. She loves to "read" books to us, and she loves to be read to.

She's a very determined little girl who knows what she wants and is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that. Even as this characteristic drives me crazy at times, I wouldn't change her because I know that this trait can be properly nourished and will help her face the difficult trials in life.

I love that she asks to go to "Big Church," and is reasonably well-behaved while present in the morning worship service. I'm enjoying helping her develop into a little girl after God's own heart.

I've been truly blessed to have her in my life.

Ansley's growing up.

I can hardly believe that my baby really isn't a baby any more. Last week she started making MAJOR progress in talking & saying new words. I think she's also hit another growth spurt because her 24 months sized clothing doesn't look as big on her as it did a couple of weeks ago. Earlier this week, James & I took her to Logan's for dinner and she sat in a strapless booster seat (instead of a high chair) for the first time. Last night, while I was still at Rock Eagle, she went to sleep on her own, in her crib. She did have a sippy cup of milk to drink while dozing off. This is the first time that she's fallen asleep without me at home to help her fall asleep at night. Usually I get her to sleep, then leave and do whatever evening thing I may have to do and return before she wakes again. When she does wake up when I'm away, she generally gives James fits about falling back asleep. However, last night, once she was asleep, she stayed asleep until her "mommy-dar" went off about 15 minutes after I arrived home from Rock Eagle.

April 21st

The past month and half has been pretty busy for us. Ansley & I traveled to Sylvania to visit my family during Spring Break. During that time, Ansley perfected her crawling ability and started pulling up on furniture and maintaining her balance better. While we were in Sylvania, James was in Ohio studying and testing to earn a Microsoft certification. Upon returning home to the daily grind, we learned that James's grandmother was doing better and would soon be released to a rehabilation center to continue recovering from her hospital stay due to throat cancer. She has now been in the rehab center for a couple of weeks and is doing quite well. Her cancer has shrunk despite her inability to safely receive chemo or radiation therapy. God has been truly amazing through all of this.

Ansley's spring school pictures are tomorrow (2 days after her 11 "monthiversary"). I think they will turn out well.

We have a busy month ahead of us. Friday night is the Hutchings Career Center prom. Saturday is Adyn's belated birthday party (he turned 4 March 11th). Sunday is the Logos Spring Picnic. Friday, May 1st is Relay for Life. I will be walking in memory of my dad and grandfather and in honor of James's grandmother. May 3rd is the Mills Family Reunion. This will be our first reunion without my dad and the first reunion with Ansley. May 10th is Mother's Day (my first).

May 16th is Ansley's birthday party. She turns one on May 20th. The closer I get to that day, the more I am remembering about labor and the emotions during the birth process (excitement, joy, and nervousness in the early stages to be overcome by fear, anger, frustration, & extreme sadness and anxiety in the final stage -emergency c-section). I am also starting to remember the emotions/sensations post-birth: sadness, exhaustion, coldness, as if I had been mentally, spiritually, emotionally, not to mention physically, ripped apart and broken. I remember experiencing great pain, stress, and fear during her surgical birth and being unable to open my eyes and see her immediately after she was removed from my womb before she was carried to another room to be cleaned up. I do remember her healthy cries and feeling some relief that she sounded mad, but okay. I remember waking up in recovery, alone, with a parched & bitter tasting mouth. I rember the careless & rude nurse running my hospital bed into the wall/door twice as I was wheeled from recovery to my postpartum room (oh, the pain & fury that I felt). I remember waiting for Ansley to be wheeled to our room and her being placed in my arms for the first time. (I did not experience the joy/adrenaline rush that I was told I would experience upon holding Ansley for the first time. I remember thinking, "Let's get this baby fed so James's parents can come in and hold her so they can leave and I can feed her again before falling asleep for a couple of hours before her next feeding. More memories of those first days are returning, but I need to go to bed before Wednesday arrives.